Color

Mike has been spending most of his time in the bedroom.  If he isn't at a chemo treatment, he's been resting in bed. I don't think he's any sicker this time round, but more that he's learned what helps him cope through the uncomfortable days.  We've transformed our bedroom into his quiet space because it is very difficult to find calmness in a house filled with three energetic boys. We have the computer set up so he can watch a show, or listen to music or books.  He has a stack of magazines, water and crackers to help with the nausea and the window open for fresh air. Most of all it is a space alone where he can doze on and off as he needs to.  This environment and a handful of nausea medications seems to be what works for these days.  The boys and I crawl onto the bed a few times a day and we have a family cuddle which often turns into wrestling.  When they get too boistreous we head out again. Mike has been doing a great job of managing his symptoms and listening to what his body needs right now.  It is easier now that we are more familiar with the trajectory of chemotherapy. I don't find it as frightening  now that we know these days will pass and gradually he will gain more strength, energy and appetite. 

Since Mike is spending a lot of time by himself  in our room, the boys and I decided to make him a gift to brighten up the space.  I wanted him to be able to look up and be inspired by his children  and motivated to keep enduring this treatement.  I am not at all artistic so I borrowed this idea from my good friend Shelly and still this project was a real stretch for me.  I  bravely got out canvas and acrylic paints with our little guys. They worked hard to create paintings for daddy;  I worked hard at keeping paint on canvas and not in mouths, on bodies or all over the kitchen.  It still ended up quite messy - but fun!  They chose vibrant colors and I know I will always look at their paintings and remember how God helped me see color in the midst of darkness. Though we've had moments where we are stumbling around in the dark, there have been just as many vibrant colorful moments. 

                                          

During this season I've seen first hand how God shines light in darkness and creates beauty in suffering.

You, LORD, are my lamp; 

the LORD turns my darkness into light.  

2 Samual 22:29

                                                                  

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said,  

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, 

but will have the light of life.”  John 8:12